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While I was pregnant I often wondered what kind of mother I would be and the thought of having a daughter, at times, scared me. I questioned my anxiety and quickly came to the understanding and truth that having a girl scared me because I was a daughter who was relentlessly trying to find herself. I hope to provide you with all my learnings so that I may guide you towards a path of acceptance, love and freedom.

Like many other mothers, I am sure, there are times that I stare at you and wonder if I will unknowingly make any damaging mistakes.  I don’t want this fear to complicate my role as a mother. I am not seeking for perfection but just a chance to raise a girl into a woman who is independent, confident in herself and lives with so much love and passion.

Dear sweet Savannah Rose,

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes and only then would you truly know how much I adore you.  Thank you for choosing me to be your mother and for granting me the special gift of raising you.  Coming into my life you instantly showed me what unconditional love feels like.  Being a mother to you is effortless and you make each passing day more and more bright.

You came without instructions and there are times when I reflect on how I am doing as your mother.  Always know that everything I say and do is because I love and care for you. As much as I am here to teach you, you are also here to teach me.  They say the role of a parent is to teach their children all about life. I have come to understand that children are here to teach parents what life is truly all about. Savannah, I have learnt so much from you already in such a short time.  The most astonishing thing for me is that I have learnt so much about ME since you have been born.

I am proud of so many things in my life but nothing beats being a mother to you. I am amazed by your sensitivity and pure heart. Your understanding and happiness. Your beauty truly runs deeper than the eye. The joy that consumes every cell of your body is unbelievable and your energy is absolutely contagious. You have taught me to laugh often because life is too short not to enjoy every moment of it. The day I had you was the day I began to heal my inner child. The day I began to look at life through a different lens. You make me a better person – someone who strives to live life each day with an open heart, with more understanding, with more acceptance of myself, with more awareness, with more happiness and with more love.

Always know that I am here for you without judgement and only with love. I accept every part of you and always, always, always know how very proud I am of you.

You can come to me for anything and know that there will never be judgement.  I am here to love and support you always. As your mother my role is to provide you with the qualities you will need in the big world.  Keep your heart wide open.  There is goodness all around you, you just have to look.  When you feel small in this big world just be still.  Find your centre, it will lead you to calmness and this is where all answers are found. Trust your gut and intuition – I promise you, it will never lead you in the wrong direction. Love yourself FIRST before anyone or anything. Be kind to yourself and know that the most important person in this world is YOU. Take care of YOU so you can then extend some of your loving energy outward.

From the moment you were born, you sparkled from the inside. Don’t ever let anyone dull that sparkle. Surround yourself with positive people who care, love, support and inspire you and push away from those that are toxic and negative.  In life, you will come across those people who will try with all their might to make you feel small or to make you believe you cannot do it. You CAN do it and can be anything you desire if you just fiercely believe in yourself.  I will always be your cheerleader and #1 fan.

I know the time will come when the pages of my life end but I know that you will be one of its most beautiful chapters. For this I am forever grateful.

Love mommy

xo

 

I am a highly sensitive person and I often feel more than I can express sometimes.  I pick up emotions from people around me and the environment quite easily.  Many times I feel emotions that I know are not mine and only recently have I learned ways to control them.  I am not perfect and sometimes the emotions are so strong that they spiral out of control and I get into a panic and anxious state.  These are the times that I feel very vulnerable and off balance.

These feelings, at times, can be so heavy and draining.  When I am in this state the emotions are suffocating and I instantly feel overwhelmed – not only by my own feelings, but by those of others around me or even by those who are far away, but with whom I am energetically connected to.

As a kid growing up I was very involved in athletic sports – any sport you name it I played it.  Sports can be very grounding and now I understand why I excelled in this area of my life. As a child I was very quiet and introverted (crazy to think I know!) but I was an observer, I took all in and released nothing.  As I got older these emotions carried with me and I released them through exercise and sports not understanding that I was truly in my element when participating in these activities.  They instantly made me feel balanced, strong and at peace.  They still do.

I have always been one who needs and enjoys her solitude. In fact, I get stir-crazy if I do not get quiet time. Past friends of mine used to make strong comments to me like “oh right Lisa likes to be alone” or “I know you like to be by yourself” as if this is a bad trait to have.  However if they only understood that this is a necessary trait that I need in order to function.  Solitude is where I find peace and where most of my questions are answered.

Grounding for me is an essential skill that I have had to learn.  It allows me to be present in my body and connected with the earth, allowing me to feel more centered and balanced regardless of what is going on around me. Particularly in my line of work I have had to make this a daily ritual for me both in the morning and in the evening.  I begin the day with a grounding meditation, followed by journaling.  I end my day with clearing all energy attached to me by burning sage and inviting the sacred smoke around my body from head to toe and front to back as I say a little prayer. I open all windows to allow the energy to leave.

If there are days when you feel off-balanced or that your energy is all over the place do not try to make sense of it.  Step into nature and surround yourself with Earth.  Take deep breaths and just feel your body relax.  Nourish yourself from the inside-out and rest.